12

today is my matthew's birthday.  he's turning twelve.  the last year before the dreaded teens.  i can't believe he is twelve.  i know all parents say that.  where does the time go?  wasn't it just yesterday he was born? learning to walk? starting kindergarten? it sure seems that way.  but now, he's twelve, and in 6 short years (half the amount of years he is now), he will be an adult. it makes me sad just to think about it.  

matt, i hope you know how much you are loved.  i hope you think of your home and your family as your safe haven.  even though you roll your eyes a lot more than i'd like and sometimes you act like you'd rather be anywhere but with us (at least i hope you're acting), i think you're a pretty great kid.  you're smart, sensitive (maybe a little bit too sensitive sometimes), and very silly.  you really love to make people laugh and you have a great sense of humor.  you started middle school this year and finished your first term with high honors.  i love your smile, your big green eyes, and your laughter.  you have the best laugh.  

this last year especially, you've grown up a lot.  i see more teenager and less of my little boy.  sometimes we clash and don't understand each other.  i hate that but i know we're going to have bumps along the way as dad and i try and teach you and train you into a responsible young man.  you've never been in trouble at school, your friends parents all love you.  and that makes me proud knowing that you give your best to the world.  you test your boundaries at home where you know you are loved unconditionally.  i think that's pretty normal kid stuff.  

i hope this year is good to you.  your first year of middle school and your last year of little league.  afterschool activities and more freedom. your first cell phone and your first "girlfriend".  tonight we will celebrate with your grandparents and you will blow out 12 candles.  i will use the same "number" candles that i have used for all your birthdays - the 1 from your first birthday when you smushed chocolate cake all over your face and your favorite thing was the balloons.  and the 2 from your second birthday when you cried as we all sang happy birthday.  i don't think any of those things will happen this time but i do hope you feel loved and special and celebrated! happy birthday mattman.  i love you more than you could ever know!