fear and letting go

i've seen this a couple of times over the last week from different sources.  both times, i really stopped and read each line, and tried to absorb each statement.  sometimes, i just read things without really taking the time to think about it or take it all in.  but for some reason, on both occasions this was before me, i truly felt the meaning behind the words.

there have been a lot of things going on in my little world that have made me weary.  i have friends who are facing uncertainty with their health, there are several children in our town who are battling cancer, a young mother of a student in my kids' school died while giving birth.  i didn't know that kind of thing still happened?  and now, her young family is left to pick up the pieces without their mother.  all of these things, and just my general state of worrying over everything, have left me tired and sad.

i am blessed with 3 healthy children, a husband who seems invincible, and a great life.  we are healthy, financially secure, and happy.  but it doesn't stop the fear and doubt from creeping in.  i must be due for some sort of crisis.  things are going too well and my luck will eventually run out, right?  when will i learn that that's not how things work?  i serve a loving god who does not punish us with illness or death or financial ruin.  we only need to put our trust in him and have faith that he will sustain us.  that doesn't mean bad things won't happen.  we live in a world where there is evil.  we have free will and we don't always make the choices we should.  but god will always provide for us.  my heart knows that but sometimes, my head gets in the way.  i let it go to a place of fear and darkness and forget that all i really need to do is lay it down.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11: 28-30

this is one of my favorite verses and it rumbles around in my head quite frequently when i am prone to worry.  i'm sure i'll be hearing it a lot in the coming days.  i'm off on an adventure, one that i never thought i'd have the chance to go on.  i'm going to craft weekend in kansas!  by myself!  oh how excited i am!  and a little  a lot nervous!  i've been praying for good weather, safe travels, and a weekend that is all that i'm hoping (i'm not really worried about that last one)!   this is way out of my comfort zone but god put it in my heart to take a chance and when my name was selected, i knew i had to go!  can't wait to meet new friends, make fun crafts, and renew my soul.  i know it will be life changing for me.  stay tuned for details!